What am I still trying desperately to control because I’m afraid of what will happen if I truly put it in God’s hands?
Do I Really Trust God like I Say I Do?
Proverbs 3:5-6
I used to say, “I trust God,” and I truly believed that I did. But recently, I realized that my trust had limits. I could trust God for the little things. I could trust Him to send a blessing, open a door, give me an opportunity, or work something out.
But when something BIG was on the line?
My mortgage is due and there isn’t enough money. My business isn’t doing well. Something happens that threatens my security. Suddenly, “I trust God” would turn into:
“Okay, but I HAVE to figure this out.”
Because in my mind, I can’t lose my house. I can’t let this bill go unpaid. I can’t let my business fail. I have to do something.
And that’s when it finally clicked for me:
I trusted God, as long as I still felt like I had some control.
I would pray about it. I would tell God I was giving it to Him. But then I would pick it right back up and start trying to carry it myself.
I’d work harder.
Stress more.
Think about it constantly.
Try to figure out every possible solution.
And I called that being responsible.
But sometimes what I was actually doing was striving because I was afraid of what would happen if I truly released the outcome to God.
I’m learning that the bigger the issue, the deeper the trust has to become.
Laying something at God’s feet doesn’t mean we stop being responsible. It doesn’t mean we stop working, planning, paying our bills, going to the doctor, or doing what wisdom requires.
It means we stop believing that everything depends on us.
Maybe real trust isn’t saying, “God, I trust You to give me the outcome I want.”
Maybe it’s saying:
“God, I trust You even when I don’t know what the outcome will be.” That’s different.
Because sometimes we’re not actually trusting God, we’re trusting God to make sure we never lose the thing we’re afraid to lose.
So I’ve been asking myself a different question:
What am I still trying desperately to control because I’m afraid of what will happen if I truly put it in God’s hands?
What am I asking Him to handle while exhausting myself trying to handle it first?
Maybe that’s the place where God is asking for deeper trust.
Not less responsibility.
Not less wisdom.
Not less action.
Less striving. Less fear. Less control.
Because saying, “God, I trust You,” is one thing.
Living like I trust Him when everything in me wants to take control?
That’s where trust becomes real.
Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.
